Hospitality and sharing food is a very basic and natural way of connecting with other people, and as with music or other arts it’s an open, inclusive way of expressing cultural identity.

For some people in interfaith relationships there are food restrictions in one culture that need to be transferred to the other – for example where certain foods are prohibited or shouldn’t be served together. This needn’t be an obstacle but an opportunity to be creative and adaptive, but you may not always find a Kosher, Halal or Vegetarian version of your old favourite in the recipe books. Here are some suggestions of recipe - adaptations and cross-overs for inter faith cooking. We hope you will add yours!

Food is so much a part of what life together is actually about in an interfaith marriage! The middle eastern recipe that I use more often than anything is a very basic one- I cook rice the way most middle eastern people do, and even my English parents and brothers say they like it best when it’s done this way.

Basically you take the quantity of basmati rice you want (I do about two and a half cups for a hungry family) and wash it in cold water several times until the water is clear, then bring to boil in a generous quantity of water with a pinch of salt unless you're 'saltfree'. Then you let it slow-boil for 10 minutes or so, making sure there's enough water. The crucial bit is testing the rice; when the grains are 'al-dente' - just beginning to soften but not too much - you strain the rice in a colander or strainer, let it drain completely. Meanwhile you melt a knob of butter in the pan and let it coat the bottom, the bigger-base the pan has the better- then you put the rice back on the butter, put the lid on and leave it to steam on a very low heat for at least 15 mins - it can be quite useful to leave it steaming while getting on with the rest of the meal. There are lots of variations, like stirring in some saffron strands with a bit of boiling water they've been steeped in, or stirring in nuts (almonds, cashews etc) that have been fried for a bit, or raisins and a few spices. When you serve the rice it should be steaming, with every grain separate, not 'gummy' and the bottom a golden crust- extremely popular with children: in Iran they call it tahdeek and in the Gulf, and maybe other parts of the Arab world they call it hakoouka - scrapings. The youngest child is sometimes said to be the hakouka of the family too!

I reckon that Christmas Day dinner is the ultimate test of anyone’s cooking skills. Not only is it a feast which takes days of advance preparation, but in our family it also involves careful planning about what everyone can eat. Our Jewish relations usually come for Christmas Day dinner, and we have a couple of vegetarians. One year I catered for eighteen, which meant borrowing an extra table and getting the garden chairs out of hibernation in the garage. Candles, crackers, Christmas napkins and little place-names made by the children always make the table look festive. So what do we eat?

We don’t usually bother with a starter, but something light like melon or grapefruit is best. Prawn cocktail isn’t on the menu as shellfish is not kosher. The turkey is the single most important ingredient, and where you buy it depends on how strictly observant your guests are. Our relations are happy with the turkey I get from a local organic farm, although kosher turkeys are available (I’ve heard that you can also get kosher goose, though it’s much harder to obtain and pretty expensive). If your guests prefer you not to cook the bird in your usual roasting dish, you can buy a disposable foil turkey roasting dish.

Most traditional recipes recommend cooking the turkey with streaky bacon over the breast and forcemeat stuffing to prevent it from drying out. But forcemeat is based on pork sausagemeat, so if you invite Jewish or Muslim guests, omit the bacon and use a vegetarian stuffing. My favourites are fruit-based ones, like apple or apricot and almond, which I put into the neck cavity. Some people prefer chestnut stuffing. I don’t usually stuff the body cavity but sometimes put in a cooking apple or an onion which gives flavour and moisture. To keep the meat succulent, baste it regularly with sunflower oil or the cooking juices.

Obviously I don’t serve bacon rolls, chipolatas or ‘pigs in blankets’. I don’t bother with a substitute, vegetarian bacon strips don’t cook in the same way. Although some families would cook these things for the non-kosher or non-halal diners, my personal opinion is that they shouldn’t be served at all if you have guests who may be upset by them. In any case, there are plenty of other things to garnish the meal like cranberry sauce and bread sauce.

If meat and milk are an issue, which they are for some Jews, don’t serve bread sauce, and make sure you don’t put butter on the vegetables. Instead of cream or brandy butter with the Christmas pudding, you could serve an alternative – in her recipe book ‘the New Jewish Cuisine’ Evelyn Rose suggests a lemon sauce to go with ‘Hanukkah pudding.’ Alternatively you can buy non-dairy cream from kosher stores.

Christmas puddings, Christmas cake and mince pies may contain animal fats. I make my own Christmas puddings and mincemeat using vegetarian suet, but if you haven’t the time, you can buy good vegetarian ones. If you buy ready-made pastry, check the ingredients - sometimes even sweet dessert pastry includes lard. If you are catering for Muslims or others who prefer to avoid alcohol, check Christmas puddings, cakes and mincemeat or mincepies as they may be laced with brandy. And remember not to ‘feed’ the cake with spirits, even if your granny’s recipe insists on it.

We like a glass of bubbly with our Christmas lunch, but if your guests will be upset if you serve alcohol, there are lots of festive alternatives. Sparkling elderflower cordial, or sparking cranberry juice are my favourites, or you could make an alcohol free punch. There are lots of delicious alcohol-free drinks in the shops in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

http://www.okkosher.com/Content.asp?ID=120 explanation of kosher rules
http://www.halalfoodauthority.co.uk/define.html explanation of halal rules
http://www.interfaith.org.uk/local/catering.htm useful tips for catering for interfaith gatherings